“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change”– Shannon. L Alder
It’s been a few years since I have competed in any Modelling competitions/Beauty Pageants and focused on the tv work as a supporting artist. Over the last couple of years a lot of things have changed, from losing my best friend so suddenly and unexpectedly due to a Pulmonary Embolism to then starting a new career as Cabin Crew so basically starting a new career from scratch and out of my comfort zone after working in care for over 10 years. It’s been a rollercoaster couple of years, from the highs of seeing the world to the lows of the grief.
I was recently looking for some footage for a different project when I happened to come across some footage of myself in one of my past competitions. It was actually a previous competition I did in a swimsuit, on the runway and looked full of confidence. I looked at it and thought ‘wow, I couldn’t do that now’.
In everything else I am full of confidence. I applied for British Airways even though I had no flying experience, I can go on trips to a country I’ve never been to before and can go out on my own exploring with confidence, I’m full of the banter confidence but I realised when I saw the swimsuit footage, I’d lost some confidence deep in myself. I wouldn’t say ‘grief’ or being down about things in life is the culprit for making you not feel like you can’t put a nice outfit on and walk down a catwalk/runway but I believe because it consumes so much of your mind, it gradually wears it down until there isn’t much of it spare to focus on yourself. Don’t get me wrong, Cabin Crew can be a glamorous job and we dress to high uniform standards, there are make up standards so all of that is programmed into you but on a personal level, I do believe you need to work on yourself sometimes from the inside to get your sparkle back on the outside.
It was the swimsuit footage and my initial thought of ‘wow, I couldn’t do that now’ which was the point I then thought ‘I need to change this, get some confidence back to put myself back out there’ hence I applied to compete in Miss British Isles Elegance 2020. I have competed in MBI before in 2015/16 I think it was and as I am an ‘older’ participant(42 in April) I compete in the ‘Elegance’ category of the Miss British Isles competition.
Due to me working as Cabin Crew and ‘Flying the British Flag’ for a living, I thought Miss British Isles Elegance was going to be the perfect competition to make a confidence comeback. Although I am originally from Wigan, Liverpool has been home for the last 7 years and I love it that much, I commute from Liverpool to Heathrow for my job so to be competing with the title of Miss Liverpool City is great because as they say ‘home is where the heart is’……..
Miss British Isles Elegance National finals should have been held on May 23 2020 at the Crown Plaza hotel in Chester but obviously due to Covid, had to be postponed. Now it will be held on the 27th of September instead 👑